Stargate (the movie)

I saw this with my cousin, in the expectation that it would have little plot and lots of SFX. I'll think of it as a 1 1/2 hour long music video, I thought. But even with that expectation, I was disappointed. It had no plot, and only 1 1/2 characters: the archeologist was one, and the army bloke played by Kurt Russell was 1/2 a character, and everyone else was walking scenery. Unless you count the little old lady at the start - she was another half-a-character; she wasn't there for very long. The best part was the start - first the opening scene in turn-of-the-century Egypt, and then the scenes where the little old lady makes her Mysterious Offer to the archeologist. But once they get through the Stargate, there's hardly anything interesting going on. Yes, some nifty SFX, but the really irritating thing about it was that with just a little more effort, it could have actually been reasonable, instead of pathetic. The let-down of potential was the most disappointing part. We spent the journey home devising different plots that would have been more interesting. No, I can't remember what they were.

Sid & Nancy scale: a desert of sand with a few pieces of coloured glass.